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>> i'm jon huntsman, and i'm running for president of the united states. we're not just choosing new we're not just choosing new leaders. we're choosing whether we are to be yesterday's story or tomorrow's. >> stephen: of course jon huntsman intends to be tomorrow's story. because for him, yesterday's story is, "hey, i work for barack obama." [laughter] and then huntsman perfectly described true americans. >> people secure in their rights and in love with their liberty. >> stephen: yes, i'm passionately in love with my liberty! i'd say i lust for it. [laughter] we have a very vigorous physical relationship. liberty and i. sometimes we role play. she dresses up as socialism and i spank her with a rolled-up constitution. [laughter] and even though she doesn't always reach happiness, she's assured me that just pursuing it is good enough. [laughter] [cheers and applause] so i like him. only problem is, huntsman has a face and a name. and right now, obama leads all specific republican candidates in the polls, even beating the romney. thankfully, the republicans
>> i'm jon huntsman, and i'm running for president of the united states. we're not just choosing new we're not just choosing new leaders. we're choosing whether we are to be yesterday's story or tomorrow's. >> stephen: of course jon huntsman intends to be tomorrow's story. because for him, yesterday's story is, "hey, i work for barack obama." [laughter] and then huntsman perfectly described true americans. >> people secure in their rights and in love with their...
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>> jon: that's our show. here it is, your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts can change the course of history. then again, so can wikipedia. a french couple has adopted a 265 pound gor la. and in tomorrow's news, a french couple is malled by newly orphanned gor la. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody! thank you for joining us. thank you, everybody. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: beautiful, thank you so much, everybody. you're too kind. (cheers and applause) >> stephe
>> jon: that's our show. here it is, your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts can change...
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night i believe at 11:00. luis c.k.will be in the studio with us. unfortunately you people will not. here it is your moment of zen. >> found a place to cool off. >> surfing the seal river. check that out. have you ever seen anything like that? >> new york city plans to feed geese to the homeless. the city will actually send the birds captured around its airports to pennsylvania to a >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts can change the course of history. then again, so can wikipedia. a french couple has adopted a 265 pound gor la. and in tomorrow's news, a french couple is malled by newly orphanned gor la. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to t
( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night i believe at 11:00. luis c.k.will be in the studio with us. unfortunately you people will not. here it is your moment of zen. >> found a place to cool off. >> surfing the seal river. check that out. have you ever seen anything like that? >> new york city plans to feed geese to the homeless. the city will actually send the birds captured around its airports to pennsylvania to a >> stephen:...
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>> jon: that's our show. join us next week at 11:00. so there you have it. finally. stop with the letters and the cards and the e-mails. we had the mckinley guy on. done. [cheering and applause] here it is, your moment of zen. >> honest to god, my favorite no peanut butter. stracaptioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> tonight, should students be taught gay history? only if they're teaching that gay is history. [laughter] then a controversy at the "today show." the cooking segment got out of control and they ate matt lauer. and my guest will discuss his book "incognito: the secret lives of the brain." if i find out my brain has been seeing another skull, i will be pissed. you say potato, i say who are you and why are you saying "potato" to me? this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] [awed -- audience chanting "stephen"] >> stephen: welcome to "the report." thank you. thank you. welcome to "the report." ladies and gentlemen, thank you for j
>> jon: that's our show. join us next week at 11:00. so there you have it. finally. stop with the letters and the cards and the e-mails. we had the mckinley guy on. done. [cheering and applause] here it is, your moment of zen. >> honest to god, my favorite no peanut butter. stracaptioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> tonight, should students be taught gay history? only if they're teaching that gay is history. [laughter]...
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. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrative which is that we're living through the fourth world war, that world history for the next 20, 30 years will is all going to be about the battle with islamist terrorism t doesn't seem to be quite like that any more. >> stephen: what is the battle? where is the fourth world war? >> i'm not sure. let's hope there isn't the fourth world war but what i do think, i have an account in this book of a very extraordinary meeting with george w bush in the early summer of 2001. don't look like that. >> stephen: hi an extraordinary meeting with him too once. but go ahead. >> i want to hear about that. >> stephen: yes. >> bu
. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrative which is that we're living...
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. >> jon: that's our show. tomorrow night at 11:00, steve carell will be here. here is your moment of zen. >> i'm hanging around with my captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the "report," everybody! change for joining us. (crowd chanting "stephen") (cheers and applause) nicely done. nicely done. yes. thank you so much. welcome to the "report," everybody. thank you for joining us. thank you in here; out there. and, folks, this crawl down here is my way of thanking these heroes for donating to my super pac. each and every one of them is as precious to me as one of my children who has given money to me. (laughter) folks, this year colbert nation is going to be a player in the election. now, i'm on record as saying i think newt gingrich is the guy. (laughter) but i think i may have to eat a little crow. or whatever it is that newt's been eating. (laughter) i'm going to say oreo cakesters. (laughter) the former speaker of the house announced his candidacy back in may and he hasn't been seen much si
. >> jon: that's our show. tomorrow night at 11:00, steve carell will be here. here is your moment of zen. >> i'm hanging around with my captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: welcome to the "report," everybody! change for joining us. (crowd chanting "stephen") (cheers and applause) nicely done. nicely done. yes. thank you so much. welcome to the "report," everybody. thank you for joining...